来源：政治 发布时间：2019-08-04 04:48:05 点击：
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.
A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: "Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate'soutfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate."
The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasised his wooden leg, so he writes a letter of complaint.
A week passes and he receives another parcel and note: "Dear Sir, Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part."
The man is really furious now, because the company has gone from emphasising his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really rude letter of complaint.
A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with an accompanying letter: "Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. Pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your head, stick your wooden leg up your ass - go as a toffee apple."
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A man was driving down a road, when all of a sudden, the Easter Bunny ran out into the road and the man hit it.The man got out of his car and started crying, for he had killed the Easter Bunny. "Oh no!" cried the man, "I have killed the Easter Bunny! Now no one will be able to get easter eggs on Easter!! And it's all my fault!" Just then, a lady drove down the road, and she noticed the man crying next to his car, so she stopped and got out to see what the problem was.She walked over and asked, "What's the matter?" and the man said,"I've killed the Easter bunny and there will be no Easter because of me!" She said,"Don't worry!" and she ran back to her car. She came back with a can of spray in her hand. She sprayed the bunny, and the bunny leaped up and started to run. Then he stopped and turned around and waved. Then he started to run again, then he stopped, and waved again. Then he stopped, turned around, and waved again. This happened about ten times.Puzzled, the man asked, "What's in the can?" She said, "It's hairspray. It livens up hare and adds permanent wave."
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Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.Looking up, he asks the Lord..."God, what does a million years mean to you?"The Lord replies, "A minute.""Einstein asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"The Lord replies, "A penny."Einstein asks, "Can I have a penny?"The Lord replies, "In a minute."
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A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?" The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, "Here's four weeks pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?" With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's.
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